Understanding The Power Of ‘No’

The path of someone’s journey is rarely a straight line. In fact, it’s filled with pitstops, road blocks and, if we’re lucky, unexpected surprises. When seeking advice on how to succeed, we inevitably learn about drive, commitment, hunger for learning and interpersonal connections — in other words, to say “yes” to what we want and then to do what it takes to get it done.

But what about “no”? No is a powerful word. More importantly, understanding the power of no will likely make the difference between traveling sideways and traveling due north. So, consider the following ways in which saying “no” can shape your path:

Every time you say ‘no’ to something, you are saying ‘yes’ to something else.

You’ve heard this before, right? That’s because it’s true. Say, for example, you are chasing a big deal. You want it. You want it so much that you will do whatever it takes to close that deal. Well, at what cost? When is enough, enough? Think about how many smaller deals may have passed you by while you were chasing the bigger deal. How many of those smaller deals would it take to equal the bigger deal? What was your likely hit rate on the smaller deals compared to the big deal? How much stress did you endure chasing that big deal, putting all your proverbial eggs in one basket, compared to the stress of chasing the small ones?

Calculate the cost of saying “yes” by asking questions like these, and do it often. Sometimes, “no” is simply a better use of your time so you can focus on a more productive “yes.”

‘No’ empowers you to take a different approach.

My company struggled in 2018. We maintained our revenue, but we worked twice as hard for it and didn’t make more profit than years prior. I worked countless hours and faced sleepless nights, saying “yes” to prioritizing our current clients, to mentoring my team, to business development, to marketing and to public relations. By Q4, I was thoroughly bruised. We submitted five times as many bids as we ever had in company history and yet our “established business” wasn’t any better for the wear. I thought, “how can this be? We’re working so hard and it doesn’t make one bit of difference.”

Then, one day I said “no.” I declined bids that were demanding my time without producing results, I laser-focused on decisive bids that were taking action to move forward, regardless of the size of the project, I reached out to all of my colleagues and clients that could tangibly make a difference to our hit rate, and I sacrificed a percentage of profit for lump-sum profit on larger portfolio projects to get the win, keep morale high among my team and further our marketing strategy for the year. Four weeks into 2019, we had three new projects totaling 50% of 2018’s revenue. Saying “no” gave me permission to be brave, to be bold and to protect my company.

If you are facing similar challenges or demands on your time, you too can decide that this is not how it’s going to be. Say “no” to letting setbacks take you down. Instead, find a way to make your efforts produce results.

Saying ‘no’ sets boundaries.

In order to be successful at anything, a certain level of organizing must happen. Organizing is important for the safety, emotional well-being and productivity of your day. No matter the organization, from running a household to running an institution, creativity is always the final product. Creativity is what defines how well an organization performs. In order for creativity to thrive, there has to be a structure in place to transform that creativity into production. An overly bureaucratic structure can stifle creativity and an overly relaxed structure can squander it.

Do people call you at all hours of the day expecting to reach you immediately? Do people walk into your office unplanned and insist on a “quick” meeting? Do conversations between colleagues get heated or vulgar? If any of this sounds familiar, say “no.” It’s OK. No, I cannot pick up the phone between 11:30 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. unless it’s an emergency. No, I am under a deadline and have to get stuff done right now. No, find a better way to make your point. Setting boundaries does not have to be negative. In fact, setting boundaries often helps people protect themselves from themselves.

You cannot have ‘yes’ without ‘no.’

Yin and yang, up and down, yes and no. If you want to be something, you have to know what you don’t want to be. If you want to improve something, you need to address what’s wrong. If you want a world of “yes,” then you need to know why the world would say “no.” Remember, “yes” becomes neutral if “no” has no value.

No is a powerful tool and it should be used carefully. Saying “no” does not make you powerful, it creates the opportunity for more power. The success that you can achieve by saying “no” will be determined by how strategically you use that vocabulary for the greater good. You cannot be an effective manager without tools for managing time productively. You cannot be a strong leader without having hard conversations. You cannot be a mentor without an ability to rally people behind you. If you want to be an effective manager, a strong leader and a mentor, then you have to understand when to harness the power of “no” and use that power wisely.