I inherited $250,000 from my grandmother and regret how I spent it. I wish I had overcome my fears around money sooner.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sara Faith Jacobsen, a 40-year-old corporate consultant in Texas. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Growing up, I knew very little about money. In the fifth grade, I learned how to balance a checkbook — that was about all of my financial literacy.

I went to college and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in women’s studies in 2007. My family paid for college, so I graduated debt-free.

When I came into a large sum of money in 2021, I wasn’t sure what to do with it, and I regret how I spent it.

I worked as a birth doula and did prenatal and postpartum massage

I became a lactation educator and then a lactation consultant, so I was in the mother-baby realm for most of my professional life in Colorado. The pay was not great, but my family helped me financially by paying my rent.

During this time, my father told me I was in my grandmother’s will and I would receive an inheritance. She died in November 2020.

When I inherited $250,000 in January 2021, I quickly realized I didn’t have a plan for the money

My grandparents were successful real-estate investors in the San Francisco Bay Area in the 1970s. I inherited $75,000 from my grandma’s will and $175,000 from her life-insurance policy. My sister and my two cousins all received the same amount of money.

I received the $175,000 as a lump sum and the $75,000 in multiple payments over the following months.

When a trustee for my grandmother’s accounts transferred the $175,000 into my bank account, I realized I had a lot of fear around money.

Seeing it was relieving, as I didn’t have much money then, but it quickly turned into feelings about not being good enough or worthy and deserving of having money.

I hired a financial advisor, and then I ghosted her

I hired a financial advisor who offered a yearlong program in which we would meet twice a month to develop a plan for the money I received. We would also talk about changing my career and creating career goals.

Even though I paid her $5,000 fully in advance, I ghosted her because of my limiting beliefs about money and spent my inheritance pretty quickly. I wasn’t ready to deal with my emotional issues around money.

I decided I wanted to leave Colorado because I was done with the snow. I put some of my stuff in storage, loaded up my Subaru Crosstrek with six months’ worth of stuff, and took off.

I blew through the money living life

I’m a champagne-taste-on-beer-budget kind of girl. I took a road trip to places I wanted to move to and spent most of my inheritance on that trip.

I had left my job and didn’t have an income source — I lived off the inheritance money. I went to the Denver area for two weeks, then to Colorado Springs for three weeks, and then to Santa Fe, New Mexico, for about three weeks before landing in Austin.

I spent a good portion of my inheritance on Airbnbs, hotels, gas, and food. Some other items I purchased with my money were expensive health equipment for $5,000, a $2,000 silver diamond ring that I still own, and two fancy dinners in Santa Fe.

After this trip, I was ready to confront my feelings about money, so I contacted the same financial advisor

Looking back, I struggled because I never received a financial education. Money was not tight for my family, and I never had to pay for anything as a child.

I think having a plan for the money would have been important — that’s what I did wrong. I also wish I had been willing to confront some of my complicated feelings about money — shame, and judgment of myself.

Even though I ghosted her, I went back to the financial advisor about a year later. I had spent most of my money by then, but we met, and she was understanding and compassionate. She agreed to work together since I had already paid the $5,000 upfront.

She helped me get back on my feet when I was in a dire situation. We examined my financial situation practically, and she gave me steps I could take to overcome it. She also helped me brainstorm my career options and set up a plan.

In January 2022, I had a come-to-Jesus moment — I had to make money. I got a job doing elder care and started working side jobs.

It was a dramatic situation to receive a big chunk of cash and then freak out and not know what to do with it

The financial advisor helped me heal a lot of my money trauma and my money blocks — I’ve done a lot of healing work. I have also improved my financial literacy.

I rent an apartment in San Antonio, and I’m still building up my salary. I haven’t started investing or saving, but when I have the extra money, I want to invest in real-estate investment trusts.

I’m passionate about my leadership work in the corporate world. I’m in a better place, and if I were to receive a large chunk of money again, I would have the capacity to hold it and use it wisely.